The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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