I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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