I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Randomize
