What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Randomize