what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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