HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
