i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
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