i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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