my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
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