butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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