Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
