Is it normal to miss your booty call?
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
We had to coat check the pizza.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize