it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
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