you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
