You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Randomize
