Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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