420 ftw
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
