It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
