You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Randomize
