home. puking in laundry basket.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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