where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
