He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
