Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
