Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
