I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
