so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Randomize