Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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