just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
