i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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