My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
smell my finger.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
