When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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