I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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