Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Randomize
