i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
honey bunches of taint.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
