school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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