Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Randomize
