why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
