Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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