i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
