I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Randomize
