...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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