one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
