i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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