I want to stick my p in your. b.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize