Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
