Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
