I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
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