Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize