Your tits are I can't wait for
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
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