WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Randomize
