i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
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