I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
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