Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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