Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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