he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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