it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Randomize
