I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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