Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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