It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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