It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Randomize
