It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize