I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
