can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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