some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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