jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize