drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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