You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
