and i looked up. we had an audience...
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize