i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Randomize
