What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
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