dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
