ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I can feel your judgement through the phone
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Randomize
