If i come over, it means nothing
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Randomize
