I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
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