You just made me feel so damn special
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
