Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Blood and glitter go together right?
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
