Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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