so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
